Dating Routine
by thisdancingjuice
Summary: There are two things CDC would never allow. #1: Stupid phonies stealing the cover of Tween Weekly. #2: The same stupid phonies stealing his Sonshine. Watch Chad as he rectifies that situation and reminds Sonny of who she belongs to. -SPOILERS for 2x09


**AN: Please read the longer AN at the end, please! It would mean a lot to me!**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own anything and Disney owns way too much. Sharing is caring, you know? There, I said it.**

**Warning:**** Spoilers up to 2x09, 'Grady With A Chance of Sonny' otherwise known as 'Lady And The Vamp'**

**Dedicated To:**** My aunt. Who is the strongest, most beautiful person I know and who recently defeated pancreatic cancer. I love you.**

**Enjoy! And to all the Wizards fans out there: Find the Justin quote :D**

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Green was _so_ not a good color on him.

And, mind you, I'm not talking about clothes. He could wear any color, pattern or cut and manage to look _chadtastic_ in it.

But the way his usually cobalt blue eyes darkened to a stormier shade, the way his jaw clenched painfully, the way he shuddered in disgust and the way his cheeks flushed with rage; all of the above made for a jealous, discontent and very, _very_ not so happy Chad Dylan Cooper.

"I can't believe this is happening. **Again.**"

The blonde boy glared at the latest issue of _Tween Weekly_ with the most hatred he could muster. Poking his finger at the (un)familiar faces which graced the cover, Chad restlessly paced the length of his dressing room, already thinking of a way to make them pay. And pay they would.

How dare these three guys vie for Sonny Munroe's attention? Didn't they know she belonged to him?

Well, technically she didn't, but Chad Dylan Cooper had never let something as mundane as technicalities get in the way of what he wanted. And Sonny Munroe definitely classified as something he wanted; _desperately_ so.

So why did these three doofuses possess the audacity to try and – insert gasp here – _date_ her?

Huffing and running an agitated hand through his flawless hair, Chad sat down on his massage chair and took a closer look at the magazine. He couldn't help the cheesy, small grin that curled around his mouth, as he observed Sonny's glowing face in the center of the cover.

"Stupid cute," he murmured, brushing his thumb across her photograph.

Nevertheless his soft, enamoured gaze hardenend considerably, as he let his eyes wander over the bold-lettered, huge headline reading _"Sonny and her dating routine – TW has all the inside dish on her three main squeezes!"._

Chad huffed angrily. "_'Main squeezes'_, pah. What a load of bull."

Moving on, he eyed the first of his newfound rivals. _Tween Weekly_, being the responsible, well-informed and crap-talking tabloid they were, of course had the names to match each face.

Chad quizzically raised an eyebrow and stared at the familiar blonde. _Oh_, he knew that one, alright:

_Grady Mitchell._

Otherwise known as Rainy. Or Cloudy. Chad liked to mix those names up to keep it fresh and interesting, you know? But that's beside the point.

The thing is, he knew who Grady was and therefore also knew that Sonny was way out of his league. Sonny needed a man with class and style, not a dude in cheesepants.

You'd never catch Chad wearing cheesepants. Plus, everybody knew that class and style practically were his middle names. Yup, Chad Dylan Class Style Cooper aka CDCSC.

His parents were name-giving _geniuses_.

To make a long story short, he didn't consider Grady real competition. Of course, Sonny choosing to date Grady kind of really, _really_ threw him off guard, but Chad would figure out a way to rectify this situation. No more cheesepants, identical popcorn twins or anything of the same ridiculous caliber for his Sonny.

Rolling his eyes dramatically – a reflex for him – Chad moved on to rival number two:

_Blake Rattison._

Now this was just freaking unfair. Stupid, stupid, **stupid** vampire. How come Sonny was head over heels for this fang-wearing, bloodsucking phony, yet when Chad had worn ba-bangs and fa-fangs – which were a bazillion times cooler than Blake's fangs, thank you very much – she had laughed at him and paid him close to no attention? He never would've pegged Sonny to be one for double standards. _Oh Sonny. Funny, funny, little Sonny._

Yet with Blake he could deal. Chad knew the director and executive producer of the popular _Tridark_ series. And he knew blackmail. Why else do you think they replaced Jackson Tyler with Rattison? Back when he stole the bloodsucker's guest starring spot on _'So Random!' _Chad had taken care of that Tyler dude. With the leech out of the picture, Chad was sure that Sonny would finally fall for him.

Now, it couldn't hurt to use the same trick twice, right? Ha, life as the greatest actor of a generation could be so wonderful.

Fighting off the smirk that wanted to take over his face, Chad eyed his last and most feared competitor. Why was he the most feared, you ask? Easy. Because Chad had_ no freaking clue_ who this 'mystery male' was.

_Grant Mitchell._

Head tilted to the side and eyes squinted in concentration, Chad contemplated the familiarity of his last name. Mitchell, huh? Chad could've sworn he had heard that one before.

"Nevermind," Chad waved his hand dismissively, tightened his hold on the magazine and moved to make his way out of his dressing room and towards stage three.

Clarice Diana Cooper had taught him that the best way to get rid of problems was to get to the root of them. And he wasn't one to disregard his mother's advice.

.

.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is. "

Sonny groaned audibly before plastering the fakest smile she could muster onto her face and turning away from her vanity and towards the snide voice's direction.

"Chad."

"Sonny. How are you this fine day?"

The girl's eyes widened in shock before squinting suspiciously.

"Um... I'm fine. Thanks for asking. That's... surprisingly friendly coming from you, Chad."

Making himself comfortable in one of the room's armchairs, Chad sent a broad, uncharacteristic smile her way. She grinned half-heartedly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He was definitely starting to creep her out.

"You know me, Sonny. It never hurts to be nice."

_Woah, wait. _Sha had heard that line before.

"Alright. Spill, Cooper. What do you want? The last time those words left your mouth, you took advantage of me to make yourself look better on _Tween Weekly TV_," her eyes searched his face for any sign of mischief. Being acquainted with Chad for a little over a year, she knew better than to trust him.

In the meantime, Chad had started smirking self-assuredly. He had gotten Sonny exactly, where he wanted her.

"Oh, what an uncanny coincidence that you happen to mention _Tween Weekly_! That's exactly why I came here."

The smirk slid off his face in no time, only to be replaced by an angry scowl. Standing up and glaring down at Sonny's small, intimidated form, Chad pushed his copy of the magazine in her direction and pointed irritatedly at the faces gracing the cover.

"What the heck is this, Sonny?"

"A magazine."

Chad huffed indignantly and crossed his arms, "Sonny, answer the question!"

Fed up with Chad and his weird, out of line behaviour, Sonny stepped closer to him, snatched the tabloid out of his hand, trying to make a point.

"I did answer your question. And stop talking to me like that. You're not my father!"

"Ew, gross. I don't want to take on the role of your father figure, but apparently you could use someone to keep track of your crazy _'dating routine'_!"

"Um. What?"

"You heard me! Why are you dating all these guys behind my back?"

Chad almost laughed, as Sonny's jaw dropped open and her eyes widenend in disbelief. _'Almost'_ being the keyword.

"I... you... I-yo-**woah**."

"Well? Are you going to give me an answer?"

"Dating behind your back? Chad! We're not together! Thinking of it, we're not even friends. I don't think we're even reall-"

"Bah, bah, bah, that's just labels. Bottom line is: You're mine. And I can't believe you would date all those _tools_ without even telling me!"

After getting over the initial shock of Chad's unexpected property claim, Sonny laughed heartily and sank back into her chair. This was just too hilarious. What was going on here? Maybe Chad had gotten that _Celebrity Practical Jok'd_ show after all.

Being a comedienne had its downsides. More often than not, Sonny just couldn't stop laughing during the worst of situations.

Chad just stood there, trying to keep a straight face. But her stupid cute giggling and snorting made it_ so damn hard_.

"Son-nay," the actor whined, "stop laughing and start giving me answers."

Waiting another moment for the girl to finally settle down and start breathing again, Chad shifted from one foot to the other, already contemplating how to solve this awkward situation without revealing too much about his feelings. '_Ugh, I should've thought this through, before I came here.'_

"Okay. I think I'm good," Sonny took another deep breath and smirked at Chad cheekily.

"Good," sometimes he just couldn't help it. It was an automatism for him to say 'Good' or 'Fine', whenever Sonny said either of those words, no matter the context.

"Sooo. You've claimed me as yours?"

"We already established this, Sonny. Stop procrastinating and start giving me answers. Who – is – Grant – Mitchell?"

Sonny eyed him curiously. She wasn't stupid. The girl knew he was beyond jealous. _And she enjoyed every single minute of it._ Jealous and possessive Chad had something very primal and attractive about him. Not that she'd ever let him know that.

But she was totally going to milk this a little longer.

"Grant Mitchell... He's pretty hot, right?"

"You've got to be kidding me."

"I mean, he really rocks those pink polo shirts."

"Who – is – he ?"

"He's a college guy! And a football player, too! All muscles, YUM."

"**SONNY!**"

Not being able to control herself any longer, Sonny snorted in delight and clutched her stomach which vibrated with laughter.

Chad didn't like how this conversation was going, at all. He was supposed to guilt her into staying away from other guys and make her realize that he was _so_ much better dating material than anyone she was recently seen with.

Pouting and stomping his feet childishly, Chad helplessly watched, as Sonny calmed down once more.

"Alright. Listen, Chad."

"I'm all ears. Well, figuratively speaking, of course! The world would be _lost_ if I was all ears. There's more to CDC than just his ears. There's also his fabulo-"

"Really, Chad? Really?"

"Fine. Go ahead."

"Fine. Grant is Grady's obnoxious, womanizing brother. And I never dated him! He only said he'd be my rebound, once I break up with Grady._ Tween Weekly_ got it all wrong."

"Huh. That tool is Cloudy's brother?"

"Grady. And of course he is! Why else would they share the same last name?"

"HA! I _knew_ I had heard that name before!"

Sonny shook her head but grinned anyways.

"And why were you dating Grady? Are you two," Chad shuddered at the thought, "in a relationship?"

The girl giggled and lightly punched his shoulder in response.

"Of course not, Chad. Grady and I are just friends. I don't think of him as anything more than that. I was fake-dating him."

The blonde huffed and glared at her, "What is it with you and fake-dating?"

Sonny rolled her eyes at his dramatic antics, tossed the magazine aside, grabbed his right hand and gently tugged him towards the door.

"Don't complain. You were my first fake date,after all. You should be honoured."

A cheesy grin lit up his face, before he could try to hide it from Sonny. Relieved that he was in a much better mood now, Sonny flashed him a quick grin and kept tugging him into an unknown direction.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Aren't you going to question me about Blake? Out of all those guys on the _Tween Weekly_ cover, he's the only one I actually dated, you know?"

Chad smirked and waved his hand dismissively, "Nah. He isn't a real threat to me. I got rid of Jackson Tyler and this bloodsucker will be no different."

"Jackson Tyler? What are you talking about?"

_Uh-oh. _Chad really had to learn to watch his mouth around Sonny. She was just too damn attentive.

"Oh, you know, nothing of importance."

"Wait a minute. Of course! You pulled some stunt, so Jackson Tyler wouldn't guest star on '_So Random!'_!"

"**Hey**, give me some credit, will you? 'Some stunt', pah! It was a perfectly organized and well-done conspiracy."

"Taken straight from episode 2x09 of _'Mackenzie Falls'._"

"1x15, thank you very much. If you want it to hurt, you gotta be accurate."

Despite their catty banter, the pair smiled at each other, successfully moving away from the awkward topic of Sonny's dating adventures.

"So? Are you going to tell me, where you're dragging me? Or am I being kidnapped?"

"Well, since you apparently claimed me as your property, I decided that you're going to treat me to fro-yo."

"That's a very boyfriend-ish thing to do, don't you think, Sonny?"

At this, the girl threw him a condescending glare.

"_Don't even_, Cooper. I won't make it that easy for you. You can claim property and be jealous all you want, but I'm not going out with you until you man up and actually ask me."

Chad's shoulders slumped a bit, before regaining courage. _'Dang. It was worth a try. OH HEY! She implied that she'd actually go out with me if I were to ask her. Score! CDC strikes again.'_

He grinned down at her and tenderly brushed his thumb over her palm, letting her know that he would ask her that important question at one point. Sonny gently squeezed back, assuring him that she'd wait until that day finally arrived.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Good."

"Fancy some frozen yogurt, Munroe?"

"Absolutely, Cooper."

And neither of them could wait to make it official.

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**AN: And finished :)**

**I hope you enjoyed reading "Dating Routine" and leave a review to tell me what you think of it! I really liked this one a lot and would like to know if you (dis)agree! **

**I'm on inspirational overload right now, so look forward to some more stuff very, very soon! **

**Also, if you haven't already, ****PLEASE**** check out my other oneshots, such as "Eternal Humiliation". If you liked "Dating Routine" then I promise that you'll love the rest of my work as well :)**

**And finally, I want to address the story-stealing that's happening in the SWAC fandom right now. Girl, back off and freaking let it go. You make über-talented people feel like crap and you make them want to discontinue writing. People like you are the reason, why fanfiction is losing some of its best authors. You're like Trey Brothers. You claim stuff as yours, when it's something that other, amazing and honest people have accomplished. If you have any respect for yourself as well as those around you, any conscience and any integrity at all, then you will stop this.**

**Props to anyone who read that rant :D Thank you guys, I appreciate it a lot!**

**Love, **

**Mona**


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